Nov
Family History Trees Medical
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What is the proper way to diclose adoption with teachers, friend’s parents (?), doctors, etc?
How do you tell people that should know that a child is adopted, without violating the child’s trust? Teachers need to know because making a family tree will take on a new angle. Doctors should know because there may be holes in medical history. Should the child’s friends’ parents know, to avoid having uncomfortable conversations?
I want to respect my adopted child’s privacy. Am I wrong in thinking that these peope have a right to know?
When we were preparing for the adoption, we were required to go to a preparatory class. One of the subjects was the family tree in school. That is why I asked. I intend for my child to know that he is adopted, and I will discuss whether he wants others to know when he is old enough to make an educated decision.
These are very helpful and respectful answers, so far. Thank you to everyone.
The information is personal. I think the only person that needs to know is the pediatrician.
I don’t believe that it’s any of the teachers’ business. I’d worry more about the teacher treating your child differently, or using his/her adoption as an ‘example’ to the class. Adopted kids hate being ‘singled out’.
The family tree thing might happen, anyway. But it’s not like your child won’t suffer adoption loss, with or without a school assigning a family tree project. Having to do a family tree in school was hardly the worst thing about being adopted.
Friends’ parents? Why is it necessary? In my case my mother would tell other adults, then because the information meant little to them, they would pass it on to their kids. And kids, as we all know, lack the ‘social graces’ we pick up as adults. Your kids will hear, “Where’s your real mom?” “If you’re adopted, your parents aren’t your real parents, anyway!” and lots of other lovelies I’ve probably repressed. Try not to put your child in that vulnerable position with his peers. And since it sounds like your children’s adoptions are ‘closed’, there’s nothing your child can say anyway.
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